D.S.A. - April 22, 2008

OK, there is some doubt as to the validity of the video below, but if it's true, the potential uses could be unlimited. The video shows a "perpetual motion" machine, or in simpler terms, a device which could theoretically run forever (by outputting more energy than was put into it.) The video is not very exciting, but if this device is real, it would be a Definitive Sign of the Apocalypse (imagine a world with unlimited free energy...)


Impossible Perpetual Motion Machine - Watch more amazing videos here

Super-Smart Octopi

While I don't speak Spanish, I have taken the liberty of translating the text found in the video below. Enjoy!

English Translation:
"This video shows us, the Mexican scientists, playing a joke on an octopus. Look, we put a crab in a bottle! HAHAHA! He can't get it! Oh, shit. What's the octopus doing? NO WAY? He's...figuring out how to open the bottle?!?! WTF?! Oh No! He's... looking...at.... us... NO!!!!!"*

*Translation may not be 100% accurate.

What a Neanderthal Sounds Like

Well, it took 30,000 years, but scientists have finally figured out what our ancient ancestors sounded like. According to a CNN.com article, an anthropologist from Florida Atlantic University has reconstructed the vocal tracts of a Neanderthal to "simulate their voice with a computer synthesizer."

The FAU anthropologist notes that ancient man "wouldn't have been able to produce these quantal vowels that form the basis of spoken language." The result is the hyper-annoying frog-like "croak," found here.

Well done, random anthropologist. If there is a better use for science, I haven't found it yet.

D.S.A. (Defintitive Sign of the Apocalypse) #1

This week's Definitive Sign of the Apocalypse comes from Indonesia. It appears that a super-smart (robot death) monkey has been trained to ride a bike. Don't say I didn't warn you when you see an army of our new monkey overlords cruising around on minibikes.


It's a pretty cool trick and a fitting tribute to the great Charlton Heston:

Wife Carrying

Well, I'm off to Countryfest '08, the annual wife-carrying contest in Australia. The rules are simple, carry your wife or partner through a 240m course containing a minimum of 2 log jumps, 2 limbo bars, 1 water hazard and 1 mystery hazard.

Last year, Anthony Partridge and Angela Moore won the contest with a time of 1:05.43. My wife and I hope to beat this time, though we may be at a slight disadvantage.

Wish me luck!

A Simpler Way to Make a Hamburger

A team from the Purdue Society of Professional Engineers has earned first place at the annual Rube Goldberg Machine Contest. This year's task was to find the most inefficient way to assemble a hamburger consisting of no less than one precooked meat patty, two vegetables and two condiments, sandwiched between two bun halves. The Purdue team's automated machine accomplished this task with an overly-complex 156-step recipe. Check out the video below for more information:



In case you were wondering, a Rube Goldberg machine is an elaborate device that accomplishes a simple task in an indirect or absurd manner. The term is named after an American cartoonist, famous for his drawings of "absurdly-connected" machines.

The next giant leap...

60 Minutes did an interesting piece on NASA's quest to land a man on Mars. You can check out the full video below (no it's not 60 minutes long.) Or, if you have ADD, here are the highlights:

• NASA's current timeline should have us back on the moon by 2020.
• The earliest manned flight to Mars won't take place until 2030, at the earliest.
• Besides facing an 18 month journey, Mars astronauts will have to battle radiation from solar flares, dangerous dust and temperatures that average 60 degrees below zero.
  
• The average American is paying $.15/day for the space program. If this bothers you, find a way to make up that $55/year.